It only took me 25 years to catch on.
25 years of being defensive and overly sensitive. Taking things personally that really weren’t personal.
You see, my husband and I work together. He’s a chiropractor and I manage the office. Ok, I hear it all the time “Wow – I could never work with my husband.” To which I nod, sweetly smile, and say “I could never work with your husband either.”
But that aside, we have had our challenging moments. Often around 12:50 pm. We break for lunch at 1:00 and, if there’s no patient in the office, around 12:50 he starts hovering. “What are you doing?” “Are you done with that yet?” “How long will you be on the phone?” “I’m hungry, let’s go before I get a headache.” And so on…..
My response usually begins with a rumbling volcano deep in my gut that periodically erupts. Not every day, but far too often. I take his questioning personally like he’s criticizing my job performance, or my wifely abilities, or my character. Sometimes it’s due to his tone of voice. Other times it’s because I’m wound up tight in defensive mode ready to uncoil and pounce as soon as he opens his mouth. And frankly, if I don’t say something in response, I’m thinking it.
Except for that day last month.
In he came, and with my fingers on the keyboard and my face to the monitor, my gut started tightening. The questions started, but for some reason known only to God, my reply was remarkably different. The volcano ebbed as I slowly turned in my chair to face him,
“You’re a Snickers commercial hon. You’re just not you when you’re hungry.”
With the realization that the guy is hungry not angry at me, the pressure cooker valve released as the tension subsided and it was laughter that erupted.
And now we have a new tagline whenever stresses arise.
..
Snickers Commercial with Joe Pesci and Don Rickles
“And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. ... Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Eph. 4:26-27, 31-32
How about you? Do you find yourself at the ready to defend even if you’re not under attack? How many arguments could be avoided if we sought to extend grace rather than dig our heels in?
Thanks Tony for letting me share our story!
Classic! I love the power of a paradigm shift!
I loved reading this one Susan! Your answer was perfect for the situation and I love how you both laughed.
Susan,
I Love that,
Priceless
Marge
What a perfect analogy – Tony and the Snickers commercial man! I love it!!
I love this Susan! I can so relate. I'm very good at taking things personally. Beth Moore was just saying (yes, she was talking to me…oh along with everyone else who watched the DVD!) that God helps us to get to know Him revelation by revelation. And that's how we get to know our husbands in relationship too. I found this so true and hopeful too. I love that we continue to get to know one another revelation by revelation. Your story proves this point! Blessings, friend.
Oh man, that was so good! Funny, relevant and so, so true. Thanks, Susan!
This was my favorite one yet – thanks Susan!!
Don't our husbands make great material?! Great post. I hadn't seen that commercial before–very funny!
lol
that's a good one!! 🙂
great commercial
We have those issues here, too! My husband and my son both turn angry and cranky when their blood sugar gets low. I saw something recently that said "I'm sorry for what I said when I was hungry." It's too perfect for situations like these. 🙂
I loved this….thank you!
Chris
Haha, great post. it is indeed a matter of perspective… if we could only understand how men are wired 😉
No seriously… we need to be more kind!