This came to me in an email about “senior days”, but I’ve been like this for years!!
Thanks, Maria! I laughed out loud!
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Susan
Category: humor
Fear Is A Four Letter Word
For as long as I can remember, fear has been a most unwelcome companion of mine, a curse you might say. I’ve tried to raise my children to be strong in the face of fear so that they would not have to deal with some of the stuff I’ve endured. But my dog? Well, she’s just a scaredy-dog!
She absolutely loves people, sometimes too much. My daughter says that Roxie has no concept of personal space. When visitors are over, she is right in their face, her tail wagging her whole body. But she does not like other dogs, no sir-ree. On our walk today, we came across the tiniest dog. Quaking with fear, she ran behind my legs and encircled the leash around them. I nearly fell over. It was not pretty!
Later, the plumber arrived. Roxie would have loved to be right under the sink with him, so I had to block her off. And what did I use? Something else she is afraid of – paper bags!
So here is Roxie trapped in the dining room behind four empty paper bags from my morning grocery shopping excursion. If she so much as sneezed, they’d blow over. But now, she is a prisoner of her own fears.
Too often, what we are afraid of is just substance of our own making. You have probably heard of the acronym F-E-A-R = False Evidence Appearing Real. It’s true that some fears are based on very real situations (a diagnosis from the doctor, a child or spouse in the military, job layoffs, economic disasters), but unfortunately, all too often, it’s just our emotions run amok.
While on the retreat a few weeks ago, the group leaders shared a common thread that was mentioned in each of the groups. When discussing what prevented the group members from fufilling God’s calling in their lives, most mentioned fear. Fear of speaking to someone, fear of taking a stand, fear of moving out of their comfort zone, fear of the unknown, fear of repercussions, fear of failure, and so on.
Over the years, I’ve learned that there is only one fear we ought to have – the fear of the Lord. There is nothing else to fear. I’ve heard that “fear not” appears 365 times in the Word. This means that there is a “fear not” for every single day! Fear has served a purpose in my life. It has kept me on my knees. I know God can supernaturally remove it, and He has done so on occasion. But, if He doesn’t, I understand that it causes me to go to Him.
When the entire nation of Israel was terrified of the giant Goliath, young David had another perspective. He utters one of my favorite verses in the Bible, “Who is this uncircumcized Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?” When I am facing a fearful situation, I now try to keep an eternal perspective, and not feel overpowered by it.
These verses have ministered greatly to me:
“Thou wilt keep (her) in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because (s)he trusteth in thee.” Isaiah 26:3
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”1 John 4:18
“In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?” Psalm 56:4
“For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind..” 2 Tim. 1:7
What is it that you are facing today? If you seriously think about it, is it just a paper bag? Or is it real? Can you see beyond the immediate situation to view this problem from an eternal viewpoint? Whether real or not, will you make it a matter of prayer today? Will you send me an email or a comment so that I can pray for and with you?
In those famous words of FDR, for most of us “there is nothing to fear, but fear itself.”
Susan
ps – On Saturday, June 6th, I will be speaking at High Mountain’s Ladies Tea on this subject of fear. Won’t you join us? It’s a great event. I’m sure you’ll be blessed.
The Trouble with Texting
Last night, my husband sent a text message to my daughter, “What movie are you going to see?” She sent a reply, but my husband wasn’t quite sure of her response, so a little while later, he asked me to text her and ask her what movie she was seeing. When I sent her the same question, she replied i love u man. So I told him, “I Love You Man.” He looked at me quizzically and said “Huh? She said the same thing to me.” When I informed him that that was the name of the movie, we burst out laughing. He thought that instead of providing the name of the movie, she just told him she loved him, and he couldn’t understand why she had called him “man.”
And that’s the trouble with texting. And not just texting, but with all written forms of communication. One person expresses something in writing, and the reader can “hear” something entirely different. Once Stephanie from my office sent me a text asking if I needed her to come in for morning hours, I responded it’s okay. I was surprised when she didn’t show up. I meant “It’s okay, come in.” She thought I meant, “It’s okay. I can handle it alone.”
I’m always amazed when my daughter will read me some of the text message conversations she’s had. She’ll read them aloud with such expression, as if the person had actually spoken the words to her, and I’ll wonder how she knows what inflections the writer intended. The very same words can even mean different things depending upon how they are spoken.
I apply this same principle when I read the Bible. Sometimes it’s easy for our eyes to gloss over the words on the page, especially if they are familiar to us. So I will take a passage and read it aloud putting emphasis on each different word. It’s amazing how different the message can be with each new reading. Try it:
For GOD so loved the world, that He gave His only Son…
For God SO loved the world, that He gave His only Son…
For God so LOVED the world, that He gave His only Son…
For God so loved the WORLD, that He gave His only Son…
For God so loved the world, that HE gave His only Son…
For God so loved the world, that He GAVE His only Son…
For God so loved the world, that He gave His ONLY Son…
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only SON…
I left out the For, that and His, but you get the idea. You can see how the different emphasis conveys different shades of meaning. It’s a great way to liven up your Bible reading.
Here’s a few other verses to try.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil. 4:13
“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer.” Ps. 18:2
I LOVE YOU MAN, oops GIRLS!!
Susan
Get Smart-er!
While on the retreat, I shared my recent testimony – that I have nicknamed the year 2008 “Get Smart!” You may remember the program “Get Smart” from childhood days. The main character, Maxwell Smart, was a bumbling agent who worked for an organization named Control, fighting crime against the nemesis, Kaos. The opening credits pictured Maxwell Smart walking in a straight line, and as he walked, doors just opened for him one after another. Last year, as I was just walking with the Lord, doors began to open for me in unexpected ways, moving me in the direction of writing, maybe publishing, a book.
What I forgot to mention was that when this new journey began, I made a committment to myself and my family that whatever came my way, I would not get so caught up in my project that I neglected my responsibilities at home. In the past, my tendency to get so absorbed in what I’m doing had caused me to lose all track of time, and I’d be frantic trying to get my other tasks done. I knew this wasn’t God’s way, so I have resolved to keep my priorities in order. You might say – I’m moving from Kaos to Control!!
Anyway, back to my story – I had closed my testimony by saying that if 2008 was Get Smart, then 2009 will be Get Smarter! When I got home, the first thing I saw was this bag from my daughter’s college bookstore on the kitchen table:
Yay!! Who can say life with God isn’t fun?
Susan
i am … still Excited
Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement regarding today’s speaking event. You are appreciated more than I can say!
As today approached, I was feeling somewhat less nervous than I expected, although my digestive track did get its usual workout (‘nuf said about that!). And then this morning was a complete comedy of errors!
First of all, (ooooh, my vanity…) last night, I decided I really needed to wash my hair! I’m sure no one would have noticed, but I would have been focused on it, so I figured I’d get one distraction out of the way. Not too smart! My thick head of hair cannot be washed at night with any reasonable expectation of attractiveness the next day. Not what I wanted to see 1st thing in the morning!
I tried on four outfits until I settled on the one that hid most of the major flaws. Then, I decided to bring a smaller handbag. After all, I didn’t need so much stuff for this event. When I transferred my wallet, I saw that I had way too much change making the small wallet fat and heavy. Taking my sister’s advice to put the extra change in the car, I threw the heavy load of coins into my blazer pocket to carry to the car. When I got to the car, I noticed that the change was jingling down around the hem of the blazer! It seems that there was a small hole in the pocket – just right for coins to slip through, too small for my hand to retrieve them! With no time to deal with this, I got into the car and headed for the school.
As I pulled up, I saw a huge banner announcing that today was the Open House! So, now not only did I have to worry about speaking to the students and staff – there would also be visitors making decisions about where to send their children for high school. If I messed up, I could be adversely affecting their entire futures! (Do you also put ridiculously unreasonable and unnecessary pressures upon yourself?) Aaauugghh!
As I scurried to the auditorium for a microphone check, I fumbled around the pocket, enlarging the hole and trying to gather up jingling coins that were now circling the hem, slapping my jacket back and forth against my thighs!
To make matters worse, yesterday I had slightly sprained my left ankle and right wrist. I already have a bad right knee, and I was wearing higher heels than I’m used to. Can you picture me trying to gracefully go up and down stairs with no banister while holding my Bible and papers. All the while with huge hair and a slapping jingling jacket. Lord, have mercy!!
To further complicate things, I’ve had a cold for 2 days (it figures!), and my mouth has been as dry as dust. In my Tuesday night class, as I was speaking, I actually spit my cough drop right out of my mouth. So embarassing! Fortunately, I was among mature understanding women (who still went hysterical!) What if this happened in front of 400 highschoolers? So I put the cough drop in my mouth with plans to remove it when it was time to go up to speak. Good plan. Or so I thought until it came time to remove it, place it in a tissue, and now where to leave the tissue? Dangling out of my pocket? Oh yeah – that looks professional!!
And then, as I was waiting to go up to speak, Mr. Kim (the tech guy) replaced the microphone pack that Justin (the other tech guy) had given me. As I stood up to go to the podium, the mike pack fell to the floor pulling the lapel mike down with it. I clumsily picked up the snakelike contraption and held it up for Justin or Mr. Kim to come and save me. Hello??? Could use a little help here! Just a little technically challenged with this stuff! They stared (nicely) back at me, but I could read their minds – “Go ahead, lady, just clip it back on!” I somehow attached the lapel mike to my blazer, but I didn’t put the pack in my pocket. I wasn’t too inclinded to lift up the bottom of my shirt, and if it fell again while I was speaking, I’d be sunk. So now I carried my Bible, my papers, my tissue pack (couldn’t let my nose run while speaking, now could I), and the mike pack and tried to fit them all on the tiny 1 inch ledge of the music stand I was using for a podium.
Finally, God brought me to my senses as I was waiting to speak. I thought – do I believe that God is who says who He is? That’s a yes – so then do I believe that I am who He says I am? Well, I guess I believe that, too. After all, that is the very essence of the message that I was just about to share. How could I convey to these students who God says they are and hope that they will embrace it and live like as His child, His ambassador, His soldier… if I couldn’t do it myself? So I asked God to be glorified and to use me as His instrument, to speak through me to reach one who needed to know how special he or she is in His eyes.
And God did not disappoint! The feedback I received both from students and faculty was so positive. I coincidentally (really?) ran into the woman who is in charge of the Ladies Tea that I am speaking at in April. Barbara was a guide for the Open House and shared with me that, during my message, one student in the family she was escorting started to feel ill. When Barbara asked the mom if they should leave, the mom said “no” – she wanted to hear the end of the message! That also served as a confirmation to Barbara that she had hired the right person!
One of my favorite reactions came from a student who told me that I kept the students attention which, she declared, is not easy to do! Other students’ comments involved some statements I had made that had spilled out of my mouth which were not even in my notes. O… God is so good, is He not?
I’ll keep you posted as this series progresses. The students have been developing some great ideas including terrific speakers, music, art and media to create some dynamic chapels for the weeks to come.
Thanks again for your prayers and your encouraging words!
Susan
Tennessee Farm Kid
This was sent to me from my husband’s cousin, Denise. Keep smiling to the end.
Susan
Tennessee FARM KID
(NOW AT San Diego MARINE CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING)
Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, bacon, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.
We go on ‘route marches,’ which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A ‘route march’ is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sorefeet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake… I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6′ and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8′ and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Alice
Alex
Many thanks to Carol for sharing this wonderful story:
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, ‘Good morning Alex.’
‘Good morning Pastor,’ he replied, still focused on the plaque. ‘Pastor, what is this? ‘
The pastor said, ‘Well son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.’
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex’s voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,
‘Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:30?’
Susan
Super Fan, part 2
Don’t you know that after my Super Bowl post, ideas kept floating in my head keeping me awake that night! So, I just have to share a short followup here:
A Fan:
wears a jersey, t-shirt, face paint, anything that bears the team colors.
A Christian:
wears a garment of praise, is clothed in righteousness, puts on the full armor of God.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Col. 3:12
A Fan:
reads all the news and statistics regarding her favorite team.
A Christian:
reads God’s Word to know God and to know about God.
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man (or woman) of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Tim. 3:16-17
A Fan:
watches her sports idol from afar.
A Christian:
has a deep, personal relationship with the Lord who knows and loves her.
Praise be to the LORD, for He showed his wonderful love to me. Psalm 31:21
We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19
O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. Psalm 139:1-2
A Fan:
cheers for her favorite team until she is hoarse.
A Christian:
praises the Lord because He is worthy of praise, and tells others about Him and so they can know the joy and peace He alone can bring.
Therefore I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations; I will sing praises to your name. 2 Samuel 22:50
Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. 1 Chronicles 16:9
And now here’s a cheer to rock the house!!:
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!” Rev. 5:13
It’s good to be a fan, but it’s great to be a Christian!!
Susan
Ode to Forgetfulness!
It pains me to say just how well I identity with this! Thanks, Maria, for sharing!
Susan
I feel pretty, oh so pretty!!
Well, now I know that my readers are the funniest, most encouraging girls I know!! After last week’s post about being referred to as “elderly”, you all came to my defense!! I got such funny and warm encouragement from all your comments – verbal, posted and emails!! One of the funniest was this email:
Subject: Age is in the Eye of the Beholder
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I rememered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a serious crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended my high school. “Yes, Yes I did. I’m a Mustang!” He gleamed with pride. “When did you graduate?” I asked. He answered, “In 1975. Why do you ask?” “You were in my class!” I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely.
Then that
ugly,
old,
bald,
wrinkled,
gray-haired,
decrepit
**** (oops, can’t say that!)
asked –
“What did you teach?”
Ha Ha!!! Isn’t it true that others (especially kids) age, but we don’t!
I just wanted to add one thing that has been on my mind this past week, with all the comments and jokes. Our patient, who uttered that “elderly” comment really is a very nice man. In fact, every year, he brings a gorgeous poinsetta to our office. For no reason at all, just to be nice.
He just happened to say something the wrong way, and it caused a reaction in me (and in many of you, too!!).
I started thinking about the times that I have said something the wrong way: too short-temptered, too sarcastic, too harsh (especially to my family who deserves the best I can give). Too honest – when it’s better to just say nothing at all. Too quick – better think before speaking (as James says). While sometimes I wish that I had spoken up about something, I find that I have more regrets over things I have said than over things I have left unsaid.
I always told my kids that God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we speak. Proverbs says that “Even a fool when he keeps silent is considered wise.” The modern version: “Better to be quiet and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!” When we do speak, may it be “seasoned with grace”.
For to be beautiful at any age, it’s what we say and how we say it that really matters.
Susan