Category: forgiveness

Famous Last Words – Part 2

Posted on by Susan Panzica

luke 23-34

In Famous Last Words -Part 1, I shared about one of Jesus’s last statements, “Father forgive them”. Today, I share another insight from these same three words.

Christ died for us while we were still sinners, long before we ever repented or asked for forgiveness. He died for those still screaming, “Crucify him!” and He prayed:

“Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”

But it seems to me that they did know what they were doing, didn’t they? They were calling for His death. What they did not know was WHO they were doing it to, and WHAT His death would accomplish for them.

Is there someone in your life causing you pain? They may not be calling for your execution, but they are hurtful nevertheless. Consider this – that person is giving you an opportunity to develop Christ-likeness that you would not have otherwise.

If we can see the offensive person in our life as Jesus does, and if we can forgive them as He did, we will be freed from the bondage of resentment and bitterness and will become a little more like Jesus. Picture this: that painful person is giving us an incredible, life-changing, eternal opportunity!

I had such a person in my life. For years, this person repeatedly caused me untold anguish and grief. My hurt turned bitterness, and like an invisible tether, I was in bondage to the one who hurt me. It took a long time, but when I began to see that this person was actually a gift from God, my heart began to change. I was freed from the bondage of bitterness. I was able to see that person as God did, to pray unhindered by my resentment. I learned that I could forgive because “they did not know what they were doing.” That person gave me the gift of developing Christ-likeness.

Peter says, “But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps… When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:20-23)

Years before Jesus hung on that cross and prayed for his persecutors, He said to the crowd at the Mount of Beatitudes, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.“ (Matt. 5:44) Did He know when He spoke those words that years later, with His dying breath, He would become that example, that He would demonstrate exactly what He was calling us to do? 

But how is it possible in our human fraility and sinfulness, can we even begin to see our “enemies” as Jesus does?

The key is to shift perspective, to see the bigger picture. As Paul said, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Cor. 4:17-18)

I pray that if you have a difficult person, you may begin to see them as Jesus does. And in so doing, you will be able to forgive, whether or not they have asked. And you will be able to look in the mirror and see a reflection of the One who made you.

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Be An Oyster!

Posted on by Susan Panzica

2 cor 4-17-18 sp

My friend, Cathy, showed up one day sporting an eye patch. She’s a stellar athlete who has triumphed over hard-hitting competition, but thanks to a tiny grain of sand that scratched her cornea, she was kept on the sidelines, out of the action. A microscopic irritant grated against the delicate tissue producing redness and tears and would ultimately cause permanent destruction if not removed.

But take that very same grain of sand, that source of irritation to the eye, place it in an oyster, and something magical happens. When that irritant is caught inside the oyster’s shell, the oyster starts to secrete a substance called nacre. This substance coats the irritant and encapsulates it. According to Wikipedia, “Nacre, also known as mother of pearl, is strong, resilient, and iridescent. This substance is called ‘mother of pearl’ because it is literally the ‘mother’, or creator, of true pearls.” What begins as an irritating annoyance is transformed. The insignificant grain of sand has become a valuable pearl.

It’s important to note that the irritant in the eye is exactly the same as the one in the oyster. What is different is the response! Scripture is clear that God allows tribulations in our lives. Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) The phrase, “you will have trouble” is sandwiched between “you may have peace” and “take heart. I have overcome the world!”.

If you have someone, or something, in your life that is a source of irritation, it can suck the joy and peace right out of you. Just the sight of that person can raise all sorts of emotions. Just the reminder of that difficult situation can cause physical responses such as tightening of the muscles, headaches, stomach pains … do I need to go on?

Like sand trapped inside an oyster, whatever your source of irritation, it can be transformed into a valuable pearl. You can be “strong, resilient and iridescent” (reflecting the light), receiving your irritation as the beginning of a beautiful transformation in your life. Surround the grain with beauty and grace. Forgive them for being themselves. They really don’t know what they are doing. (Luke 23:34) If you recognize that God allowed this person or situation for your benefit, you will be creating pearls!

Don’t let yourself be troubled by what really is a small matter compared to eternity! Allow that nuisance to bring about transformation – Christlikeness – the most precious, priceless, valuable quality you could ever possess.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Cor. 4:1

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Break My Heart

Posted on by Susan Panzica

Break my heart

I caught myself humming and accidentally meditating on some lyrics from a favorite worship song – Hillsong’s Hosanna :

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

60 years ago a man named Bob Pierce prayed these words in a prayer: “Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.” Dr. Bob Pierce founded World Vision after traveling to China in 1947. On that trip, his heart was broken with the need of one little girl. In the decades since, World Vision met the needs of millions of people in the US and all over the globe.

After my children went on mission trips, their hearts were broken for people in Uganda, India, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Bahamas, and the US. They followed up their trips with actions to help meet the needs they encountered and inspired me to do the same.

Yet I think there are other things, personal things, that break the heart of God. As I continued to mediate about this lyric, God whispered: You can love people around the world, but can you love the person sitting next to you?

Ouch! The sting of conviction penetrated deep in my soul. 

What breaks God’s heart? Not just children dying in poverty. It breaks God’s heart when my attitudes and actions represent the enemy more than they represent Him. I believe God is not as grieved by sinners who act like sinners as He is by Christians who act like sinners.

Can we love those who are lovely?

Of course, that’s easy.

Love the poor?

Sure, most of us can do that. In fact, there are many non-Christians who care for the poor, who sacrifice life and limb to live in impoverished nations, who are in the Peace Corps, the military, the inner cities, Indian reservations, homeless shelters, safe houses for abused. There are non-Christians who are doing what more Christians ought to be doing.

How about loving those who annoy you? What about loving those who hurt you? What about loving someone who hurt your child?

Apart from the grace of God, it’s next to impossible. Yet that is exactly what God calls us to do:

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

“In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” Matt. 5:43-47 MSG

Our “enemies” give us an opportunity to develop Christ-likeness. When we can forgive as He forgave and love as He loved, we become more like Him ~ and we stop grieving Him.

We must stop “acting” like a Christian and start “being” one from the inside out:

“If we are to be imitators of Christ, we need to stop trying to act like Christians (external actions) and instead focus on BEING a Christian from our core (internal transformation). When this becomes our focus, we will discover that it’s not difficult to act like a Christian, because we simply ARE one. Period.” ~ Christine Caine

May our hearts break for that which breaks God’s heart.

And help us Lord to not break Yours. 

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The Lure of Attraction

Posted on by Susan Panzica
2016-08-28-bee-in-flower-heb-2-18a
Marginal Way, Ogunquit, ME

 

On vacation last month, I was playing with the camera settings on my cell phone, trying out the “selective focus mode,” wanting to look like a halfway decent photographer. And I got the shot! But I got something else too. Something not so welcome.

See the bee inside the flower? Well that little guy hitchhiked home with me! When I got back to the quiet of our hotel room, I heard a faint buzzing sound. At first I thought it was the radio of the next door neighbors. But it seemed too close to me. I checked my ipad and phone to see if there was something playing inadvertently. But no. I couldn’t find the source of the buzzing.

So I ignored it.

To my regret.

Seconds later, I felt a sharp pain at my waist. I pulled at my shorts and shirt, and out flew the hitchhiker, right out the back door!

The pain increased exponentially as a red circle began to grow around the stinger. But Tony, my hero husband, came to the rescue, removing the venom and washing it down the sink. Within a few hours, the pain, redness, and swelling were completely gone. There’s just a dot left where the stinger remains.

And of course, some life lessons remain with me too:

  1. Don’t get too close to trouble. Satan entices us with pretty little attractions. Lures that become dangerous temptations. When we draw too close to a dangerous or forbidden thing, person, or activity, we lose sight of the bigger picture. When we indulge in pride, envy, bitterness, any fruit of the flesh, it becomes an unholy dalliance. Our “selective focus” tunes out the warnings in our spirit.
  2. Hear the warnings, and heed the warnings. I heard the buzzing, but thought it was a harmless distraction. I didn’t pay attention to the possible consequences until it was too late. When that little nudge in your spirit says “don’t,” beware and be aware. Stop, look, and listen hard.
  3. Once stung, repent! Get as far away from the situation as possible, and turn to the Helper (John 16:7). Fortunately, Tony was able to reverse most of the effects of the poison. When we confess, Jesus forgives us, taking our mistakes, our failures, our transgressions, and cleansing us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:8-9).
  4. Consequences remain. Although the sting is gone, a scar remains. It’s both a physical and spiritual truth that we reap what we sow (Gal. 6:7). The pain from broken trust in relationships often lingers long after reconciliation. There may be limits, boundaries that we didn’t require before, but now need in place to keep us free from temptation.

Father, we’re so thankful to live under Your grace. May we never take it for granted. Let us strive to live holy lives, pleasing in Your sight, and keeping our eyes on You. “…and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.  And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.” Matt. 6:12-13

Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted. Hebrews 2:18

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

The Real Scandal

Posted on by Susan Panzica
Every day it’s a new scandal, a new divisive issue.
  • Race issues.
  • Gender issues.
  • Abuse issues.
  • Political issues.

You know the names. The places. We see and hear them all day, every day. Our newsfeeds overflow with opposing points of view. We share the ones we agree with, furthering the furor. We discount the opinions of others without attempting to understand them.

And I have to ask the question, cliche as it is. What would Jesus do?

Would He raise His fist condemning those sinners? Did He stone the woman caught in the obvious sin of adultery? Or did He say, after writing in the sand, “Where are your accusers? … Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” (John 8:9-11)

Would He shout about the moral decay in government? Did He encourage boycott of the corrupt Roman government? Or did He say, “Render under Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”? (Mark :12;17)

People are broken in all kinds of ways. Including us. We must first remove the log in our own eye before the speck in another’s. And what if we think they have more than a speck? Well, that’s really not for US to judge, is it? When we are sin-free, then maybe we can have something to say about someone else. Until then, we are all sinners, saved by grace alone. Sinners created to do good works that He planned in advance for us to do (Eph. 2:8-10).  

Can we stop eviscerating people whose politics, morals, and lifestyles we disagree with? Remember – Jesus saved His harshest criticisms for the Pharisees, those self-righteous religious people He called “hypocrites, white-washed tombs,” looking good on the outside, but dead on the inside. 

Yes, as Jesus-followers, we must live and stand for righteousness in our society. We must be salt and light. But please – let’s do it with love in our hearts, not stones in our hands. Our job is not to judge. It is to be restorers, to be instruments of healing, ambassadors of the good news.

We are to love every person, including those on the magazine covers, in each political party, in viral videos.

Who will listen to us if all they hear from us are voices of condemnation?

I made a decision to try to understand all points of view. I don’t have to agree with each one. But I want to understand each one, and then form my opinion with the knowledge of how someone else feels. I want them to feel that they have been heard.   

“Because Jesus loves the people on the covers of magazines just as much as He loves you and me, and the real scandal isn’t what others decide to do with their lives, but what Jesus did with His.”   Becky Thompson 

Won’t you join me in spreading the real news – the good news of His love, grace, peace? 



  • Race issues. #Ferguson #TexasPoolParty #blacklivesmatter
  • Gender issues. #caitlynjenner #samesexmarriage
  • Abuse issues. #duggars  
  • Political issues. #Obama #Christie

2015 – Forget it! Or Remember?

Posted on by Susan Panzica

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” Is. 43:18-19

Isaiah’s words from God seem like the perfect verse to usher in the new year along with Paul’s words from Phil 3:13-14 =

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Seems like starting a new year gives us opportunity to do a lot of forgetting.

Yet I also recall verses that tell me to do just the opposite – remember!

Repeatedly in Scripture the Lord urges His people to remember – His covenants with them, what He has done for them (and us), what they (and we) had been, how they (and we) angered God, how He forgave.

In fact, Isaiah himself who wrote “forget the former things” also wrote “Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me.” Isaiah 46:9



So what’s a girl to do? 
Forget or remember??
Probably a little of both.
<<click to tweet>>


Alas, I find myself remembering things that have little value, hurtful things, foolish things, things that should be long forgotten. These are the things that Isaiah says to forget – “do not dwell in the past.” In Paul’s description of the race of life, these things are weights that drag us down and keep us from pressing on toward the goal.

What we are to dwell on, to remember, is the God that is like no other:
  • The One who redeemed us when we were unworthy,
  • the One who sustained us when we couldn’t go on,
  • the One who grants us peace beyond understanding,
  • the One who helps us to love the unlovable and who loves us unconditionally,
  • the One who made us and REmade us.


The lyrics from one of my favorite bands Tenth Ave. North says:

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you.
This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.


So in 2015, what will you forget?
And what will you remember?

Profiles in Courage

Posted on by Susan Panzica

Last night, I saw the movie “42.” It was excellent on so many levels, but mostly because it told the story of the faith and courage of two great men , Branch Rickey and Jackie Robinson of the Brooklyn Dodgers.

Jackie Robinson’s story is well known in history, the first black man to play in major league baseball. His number “42” is retired on every team in baseball. Not because he had the courage to fight, but because he had the courage not to. He endured humiliation and persecution and he did not speak up against his accusers. He modeled the behavior of our Savior.

Branch Rickey‘s story was as powerful as Robinson’s. The team’s general manager was intentional in his search for a black player to integrate his team. When Jackie asked him why, Rickey told the story of a time when he was a young player and didn’t stand up for a black man. As a man of deep faith, it bothered him all his life. He was finally in a position to right a wrong he had committed.

2000 years ago, another young man persecuted followers of Jesus Christ. Paul went from town to town looking for Christians to jail and kill. On one road to Damascus, he encountered Jesus Himself. Paul’s life was transformed and he spent the rest of his life fighting FOR Christianity instead of against it.

Two years ago, a high school friend found me. We had a falling out in our senior year. She seriously hurt me and we stopped talking. I can’t remember what she did, only that I never wanted to see her again. Years later, she searched for and found me on facebook. We began to correspond and then reunited when she made a trip back to NJ. The first thing she wanted to do was right the wrong she had committed and asked for forgiveness. We’re now close friends and because she was so good at keeping in touch with people, I’ve had the joy of reconnecting with several of my long lost friends. Most importantly, we’ve discovered we’re both believers now which doubled our joy.

It’s never too late to right a wrong we have committed. In righting his wrong, Branch Rickey changed history, and not just in baseball. He was a catalyst for the entire civil rights movement.

We can change our history. If we have offended someone, we must do what we can do to make things right. Paul says in his letter to the Romans:

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.  Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God,….Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Rom. 12:18-20

“So far as it depends on you” – we must do what we can, but only what we can. Don’t fret about what others do or how they respond. They are responsible for their actions as we are responsible for ours.

Do you have a relationship in need of repair or a wrong that needs to be addressed? I encourage you to pray and seek what God would have you do to restore peace with all – men, women, and children.

And please leave a comment with how I can pray for you.

PS – Don’t forget to enter the contest for a $25 Amazon gift card giveaway! Click here for details. If you’re already a Blog subscriber, Twitter follower, or Facebook friend, just let me know. And if you have a wedding story to share, I’d love to hear it! 

If It’s Possible….

Posted on by Susan Panzica
Illustrated Wall Art by Mandipidy
http://www.etsy.com/listing/105657216/live-peaceably-with-all-romans-1218

If I’m honest, I have to admit it. It’s not easy to always live at peace with everyone. People can be foolish, angry, bossy, hostile, offensive, stuck-up, needy. Some people push our buttons. Sometimes it’s deliberate. Other times it’s unintentional.

The to-do list of behavioral mandates the Apostle Paul gives us in Romans 12 seems daunting:

     v. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind
     v. 14 Bless those who persecute you
     v. 19 Do not take revenge
     v. 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good

But tucked within these verses is a beautiful sentence that qualifies the rest. Click here for my post about Romans 12:18 and the possibilities for peace-filled relationships it brings.
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Get Rid Of It – For Real

Posted on by Susan Panzica

I was so proud of myself.

I’ve been digging, sorting, and clearing out stuff.

I bagged it, washed it, and carted it to the car to be donated to Ditto, the “upscale resale thrift shop” that raises funds for my kids’ alma mater.

Felt like a real accomplishment.

The problem is Ditto’s hours of operation aren’t in sync with my hours of operation ;D  I can’t seem to get there before closing time.

And so I have been driving around with my discarded stuff for a week. I went through it – did the inventory. I identified and separated it. I even moved it. But I haven’t really gotten rid of it. I plan to, but it’s still there hanging around. Moving around. I stopped short yesterday to avoid a car that ran a stop sign, and heard a symphony of shuffles as the stuff in back slid toward the front.

In order for me to actually get rid of this stuff, I have to make a change. I need to change my habits and rearrange my schedule. I have to move out of my comfort zone.

I have some other stuff I’d like to get rid of. Fear, anger, resentment, jealousy. I have done some soul-searching. Taken inventory. Identified what needs to be addressed. Felt some pride and a sense of accomplishment in that.

But that stuff is still hanging around. An unwelcome remark or a difficult situation becomes like that car running a stop sign bringing all that stuff toward the front, a symphony of emotions sliding around my interior. So how do I actually get rid of it – for real?

Paul says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” But he doesn’t leave it at that.
He continues with, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Eph. 4:31-32)

James instructs us, “Get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent” 
And like Paul he goes on, “and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, .. Do what it says.” (James 1:21-22)

To get rid of these unwanted emotions and behaviors, I need to move beyond identifying them. I need to replace them with desired behaviors. Clearing out the old creates a void and the old will slide right back in if there isn’t something already in its place.

Replace resentment and anger with forgiveness.
Replace doing evil with doing what the Word says.

Then I’ll be getting rid of it – for real!

How about you? Do you have unwanted stuff hanging around? How can you clear it out? For real? Let’s talk about it.

The Perfect Comeback

Posted on by Susan Panzica
I almost did it.
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Have you, like me, ever yearned for a perfect comeback to someone discourteous, but couldn’t think of a thing until hours later, and only then after mulling over all possible options for hours?
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Today, I almost had my moment.
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Of course, it’s a dicey situation, isn’t it? What if that person walks into my office tomorrow or my church on Sunday, not to mention the fact that I represent Jesus who is always with me. But today, as I muttered to my steering wheel, it came to me. The perfect comeback. And I almost had the opportunity to express it.
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Here’s how it all went down:
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I met my husband and son at the Post Office needing to renew our three passports. The clerk, Ann, had just taken their mug shots photos and seemed a little annoyed that she had to stay in the chilly lobby to take yet another one. [OK, I get that.]
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My husband’s joke, “Can I get a different background?” was met by stony silence. No smile, headshake, or even an acknowledgement that he had spoken, despite the chuckles of other patrons stamping their letters nearby.
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After my quick headshot, we returned to her station to proceed with the paperwork. Tony reminded her to process my son’s application first because he needed to leave quickly. Her steely-eyed glare was almost as cold as her reply, “I heard you the first time.” Ouch, that was a little harsh, but giving her the benefit of the doubt, my husband can have a tendency to make sure things are done “right.” [Luv ya, hon ;D]
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As she continued to process the many papers, photos, and payments, her attitude continued to deteriorate from abrupt to curt to downright churlish.
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Tony and I walked away mumbling to each other about her. My photo horrified me. For the next 10 years, I will be identified by a ghastly auburn slash of bang bisecting my forehead. Come on, I’m a girl, you’re a girl, can’t you clue me in before you snap?
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But later I had to return to mail the applications with a “traceable delivery method” and I would have my chance. At least I thought I would. Here’s how I had it worked out in my head:
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“Hi, again. Are you having a bad day today? Because I’d like to pray for you.” [genuine sweet smile]
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“Hmmmpphhh…”
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“But if you’re just ordinarily surly, I’ll pray differently for you. [wink, not so genuine huge sweet smile] Thank you so much. Have a great day.”
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When I returned to the scene of the crime, alas, at clerk Ann’s counter stood Charles; Ann nowhere to be seen, perhaps gone for the day. The momentary disappointment that I wouldn’t get my chance for the perfect comeback was partnered with a flood of relief that I couldn’t share that perfect comeback.

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In the movie, You’ve Got Mail, Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) longs to hurl a perfect comeback to her adversary, Joe Fox (Tom Hanks). Only when she finally does, it came with the realization that her words left her feeling worse for having said them. “Do you ever feel like you’ve become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora’s Box of all the secret hateful parts — your arrogance, your spite, your condescension — has sprung open. Someone provokes you, and instead of just smiling and moving on, you zing them. I didn’t get any satisfaction from it,” she types, “I just felt mean. When you say the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.” I knew I’d feel the same way.
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So, what is the perfect comeback? It is to come back to the Lord and allow Him take care of any consequences my “adversary” deserves. I spent half my day invisibly tethered to a mean-spirited postal worker. What a waste of time and energy.
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Instead, I decided to honestly pray for her. You never know why God puts certain people in your path, and it may be that I’m the only one praying for her. For the next 10 years, my bifurcated forehead photo will serve as a reminder, not just to pray for Ann and others like her, but to keep turning the other cheek, going the second mile, and loving the unlovely, for as Jesus said, “If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? …In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” Mt. 5:46-48 MSG



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