Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? … No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35, 38-39
As a child, my daughter and some of her little classmates often suffered from separation anxiety. Leaving their moms at the door to preschool became a test of patience and grace. The moms knew they weren’t leaving their children, but the children’s perspective was one of separation.
I saw a quote today on Facebook that read, “Anxiety is the result of envisioning the future without Me.”
As God’s children, we can be comforted to know that He will never leave us or forsake us. He has assured us of that repeatedly (Deut. 31:6, Deut. 31:8, Joshua 1:5, 1 Kings 8:57 and Hebrews 13:5).Nothing can separate us from His love (Rom. 8).
Jesus left His home in heaven to dwell among us. Did He experience separation anxiety? No, Jesus said that He and the Father are one. Though wrapped in flesh and living as a man, He was one with His Father. And He said that we are one with Him.
So if He feels distant, the question is: Who moved?
As far as we might feel from God sometimes, it is only ever one step back into experiencing His presence. “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” Acts 3:19
“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of Your presence and the pleasures of living with You forever.” Psalm 16:11
If we’re friends on Facebook (and I hope we are!), you might have seen my day of disaster and delight on Friday. We started out to Atlantic City for a concert, but were sidelined by car trouble. Twice we needed AAA for the rescue. The second time, we waited by the side of Rte. 287, definitely NOT the safest place to be. My husband insisted it was safer to wait outside the vehicle, so I stood perched on a few feet of pavement between certain death either way. In front of me were cars, motorcycles, and GIANT trucks whizzing by. Behind me on the other side of a way-too-low-guardrail was a deep ravine.
Fortunately, the Lord provided something (or things) to take my mind off my dilemma.
Yup, these critters.
I’m not sure if they’re centipedes or millipedes or something else entirely. I do know that there were quite a few of them, and they each individually had the same goal. They had crawled up from the ravine behind me and were intent on getting to the highway.
However, each time a truck flew by the force of the wind gusts caused the little critters to tumble sideways over and over again. What I found fascinating was that each time they finished rolling, they wasted no time and got right back on their mission, their tiny feet taking step after step heading to the highway. Until the next gust of wind. And then they did it again, back to their mission.
After getting over my distaste sharing my space with them, I was extremely impressed with their tenacity. I thought I could learn a few things from them. And I did.
1. How often do I let far lesser interruptions derail me from my purpose?
It doesn’t take much for me to get distracted or discouraged, too often quitting before the finish line. Time after time, these critters were tossed headlong, but immediately set themselves back on track. I want to take my cue from them when things come crashing down around me, and keep my focus on what God has called me to do and to be
2. How often do I pursue something long after God has shown me to let it go?
These critters didn’t realize it, but for those who made it to the highway, their journey ended in the harshest way possible. Those on the sideline were on their way to certain death. I couldn’t imagine what drove them to destruction. (My mom suggested it might be mating season, so perhaps there were some cuties on the other side.) Unfortunately, the dangers didn’t deter them, and in this case, they should have.
Perhaps the turmoil of the winds served as a protection from the disastrous situation on the road ahead. In the same way God protects us, but too often we continue on our perilous journeys despite His warnings. We cling to our plans rather than let God direct us. Our own arrogance and personal desires can be our greatest downfall.
So…
On the one hand, we need to persevere. On the other hand, we need to let go. How to know? The key here is to remain in deep personal relationship with the Lord in prayer and through His Word to be sensitive to His leading. And then to obey. This needs to be daily practice, not something we initiate when the crisis hits. Like the Apostle Paul, we need to be willing to press on, yet turn around when led to do so. (See my prior post.)
Here’s my spin on the famous Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the tenacity to stick to the plans You have for me.
The grace to surrender when You have a better strategy.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Can we talk? Do you struggle more with pressing on or surrendering?
She sat peacefully in a wooden gazebo by the water’s edge, half facing the water, head swiveled backward keeping a watchful eye on her howling daughter standing on the rocks behind her about 10 feet away.
At Mohonk Mountain House, the breathtaking scenic vistas, rock climbs, miles of hiking trails, crystal clear mountain-top lake, can be best described as serene.
At least it was until the silence was broken by the little girl’s screaming tantrum.
“M . O . M . M . Y…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The rest was unintelligible and unrelenting. Tears streaming, arms outstretched, begging Mommy to come and carry her to the gazebo.
And Mommy sat, not moving. But, gently repeating the same few words, over and over again. “You can do it. Just take one step at a time.”
It would have been so much easier to pick up her daughter, to comfort her, to coddle her, than to remain steadfast in the face of such despair. She could have worried what passersby thought of her, letting her daughter cry on like that. But she demonstrated a resolve to help her daughter overcome fear. One step at a time.
I wanted to go over to her and encourage Mommy and tell her what a great mom she was. She probably didn’t feel like a great mom then. But I kept on walking. I rationalized that it would have spoiled the moment, but I still regret it. Maybe she’ll read this.
She was a hero that day. Not the kind we read about on the front page. But the kind that makes the tough choices in the trenches to stay the course, to teach her child, to allow her child to experience a victory that would be missed if she took the easy way. Or maybe a failure that would be a stepping stone for a future victory. It is just one moment that will build upon the next and the next, ultimately creating a life of character and courage.
When my daughter was little, she had lots of fears. So did I. And so when Lauren was afraid to order ice cream at the local snack bar, she’d ask her younger brother to order for her. I remembered being the oldest of 3 siblings, but the most afraid. And I remembered how bad I felt about myself when my younger siblings would easily do things that terrified me, like go on rides or speak up for themselves. So when I saw my daughter following my footsteps, I became a “mean mom.” With sorrow, I told Lauren that unless she ordered the ice cream herself, she couldn’t have it. Many times she did without her favorite snack because she was afraid to ask for it.
I didn’t feel like a hero. I felt like a heel.
But now 20 years later, Lauren not only orders her ice cream, she has traveled the world on mission trips and lived in Australia for 1½ years. She has a grand vision to build a unique powerful ministry. She dreams big dreams that we all know will come true. She has impacted the lives of students in her classes and young girls in youth groups. When she faced rejection and difficulties pursuing her studies and career in dance, I gently repeated the same words over and over again. “You can do it. Just take the next step.”
I was, and am, far from a perfect mom. But in this, I’m thankful that I was able to stand firm. And so is Lauren.
To all the moms being honored today, I salute you. Not just today, but for what you do each day that goes unnoticed or unappreciated. Making one seemingly small decision or action will build upon the next until a million small hard moments build a lasting legacy.
And you moms who experience fear, God tells us “You can do it. One step at a time.” He orchestrates opportunities for us to face and thus overcome our fears. Today is Part One of my series on Vanquishing Fear. In the weeks to come, I’ll share some stories of my battles to overcome fear.
What do you think?
Do you struggle with personal fears?
Is it hard to be the “mean mom?” If so, look for my friend Joanne Kraft’s book later this year. The Mean Mom’s Guide To Raising Great Kids
For as long as I can remember, that four letter word fear has been a most unwelcome companion of mine, a curse you might say. I’ve tried to raise my children to be strong in the face of fear so that they would not have to deal with some of the stuff I’ve endured. But my dog? Well, she’s just a scaredy-dog!
Visit me over at Laced With Grace today where I share what my little Roxie taught me about that nasty four letter word ~ FEAR!
In the restaurant last night, I spotted a boy with his new Christmas gift – an ipad. And what was he doing with this valuable gift?
Playing Hangman.
Hangman? – on an iPAD? – really????
As a kid, I played Hangman – using pencil & paper, chalkboard & chalk, dirt & stick.
And here was this 21st century kid using one of the most powerful devices currently known to man to play the simplest of games.
But could we be doing exactly the same thing with the gifts that God has given us?
He is Emmanuel – God WITH us.
He declares us to be His temple and so His limitless power dwells WITHIN us.
And yet too often we are content to live a limited life.
We are satisfied with less than best.
We play with dirt & sticks when the Power that created the dirt resides inside us.
He calls us to use the gifts He has so freely given for Kingdom work. He wants us to step out of the boat with our eyes fixed securely on the One who keeps us from sinking. He desires to reveal Himself in us and through us. As a believer, His power within us is greater than an ipad or any man-made device. Where we are weak, He is strong.
Rather than settling for mediocrity, I want 2012 to be the year I climb out of my comfort zone. How about you?
ps – If uncertainty is holding you back from serving, and if you live near northern NJ, please join me and my Bible Fellowship class as we embark on a 9 week study “What’s So Spiritual About Your Gifts?” by Blackaby. Shoot me an email if you’re interested in participating.
I’ve been digging, sorting, and clearing out stuff.
I bagged it, washed it, and carted it to the car to be donated to Ditto, the “upscale resale thrift shop” that raises funds for my kids’ alma mater.
Felt like a real accomplishment.
The problem is Ditto’s hours of operation aren’t in sync with my hours of operation ;D I can’t seem to get there before closing time.
And so I have been driving around with my discarded stuff for a week. I went through it – did the inventory. I identified and separated it. I even moved it. But I haven’t really gotten rid of it. I plan to, but it’s still there hanging around. Moving around. I stopped short yesterday to avoid a car that ran a stop sign, and heard a symphony of shuffles as the stuff in back slid toward the front.
In order for me to actually get rid of this stuff, I have to make a change. I need to change my habits and rearrange my schedule. I have to move out of my comfort zone.
I have some other stuff I’d like to get rid of. Fear, anger, resentment, jealousy. I have done some soul-searching. Taken inventory. Identified what needs to be addressed. Felt some pride and a sense of accomplishment in that.
But that stuff is still hanging around. An unwelcome remark or a difficult situation becomes like that car running a stop sign bringing all that stuff toward the front, a symphony of emotions sliding around my interior. So how do I actually get rid of it – for real?
Paul says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” But he doesn’t leave it at that. He continues with, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Eph. 4:31-32)
James instructs us, “Get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent” And like Paul he goes on, “and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, .. Do what it says.” (James 1:21-22)
To get rid of these unwanted emotions and behaviors, I need to move beyond identifying them. I need to replace them with desired behaviors. Clearing out the old creates a void and the old will slide right back in if there isn’t something already in its place.
Replace resentment and anger with forgiveness. Replace doing evil with doing what the Word says.
Then I’ll be getting rid of it – for real!
How about you? Do you have unwanted stuff hanging around? How can you clear it out? For real? Let’s talk about it.
It’s October 31st and millions of people will spend billions of dollars to eat candy and dress up as someone (or something) else today. It may be fun to dress up as someone else for an event. But what about when we habitually wear an invisible mask to hide who we really are, when we pretend to be someone we’re not.
To read more, click over to Laced With Grace. And please leave me a comment. You know I love to hear from you!
Doubt is the enemy’s tool. It affects everyone. And it can affect any area of our lives. Are we a good enough mom, wife, friend, writer, speaker, worker, fill in the blank. It has us focus on whatever will take our eyes off God – our weaknesses, other’s strengths.
After Adam and Eve sinned and hid in fear, God’s first question to them was “Who told you….?” He hadn’t told them to be fearful, ashamed. They were listening to the voice of their enemy.
All that God asks of us is to be obedient. To seek, to love, to serve Him and His people. When our eyes are squarely on Him, our doubts fade in His light.
Years ago, I had a strange experience. I was to speak before a crowd of fellow employees at the FederalLawEnforcementTrainingCenter. Every cell in my body trembled in fear. I had asked for prayer from trusted friends, telling them my session would begin Wednesday at 8:00 am. It was Wednesday at 7:55, and as I drifted to the podium, I wondered how I’d be able to utter a single word, so filled with fear and doubt was I.
Then something weird occurred. Really weird. It all happened in a nanosecond. I felt a tingling on the top of my head, like when someone pretends to crack an egg on your head. The tingle moved down from my head past my shoulders, past my arms and torso, down my legs, and out my feet. Picture a thermometer with a pinhole in the bulb and the red liquid leaking out the bottom. The tingle was fear, and so tangible was this feeling that as it left my body, I looked down because I thought I’d see a puddle of fear on the floor. All I saw were black and white tiles. As my eyes swept back up, they glimpsed the wall clock – which read exactly 8:00 sharp. In that instant, I simultaneously remembered 3 things – my praying friends, my mentioning 8:00 am, and the Scripture verse that says, “Perfect love casts out fear.” God is perfect love, and He supernaturally removed my fear.
I’d like to say that ever since that time, I have never experienced fear. But that would be a lie. What I do know is this – He CAN supernaturally remove my fear – if He wants to. So if He doesn’t, it means that the fear is there for a reason – most likely, so that I keep tethered to Him, focused on Him, in communion with Him, dependent upon Him rather than myself.
All the self-doubt that’s so prevalent and so destructive is just a tool in Satan’s arsenal, seeking to hinder the work of God. If only we can just remember that yeah we do have weaknesses, but it’s in our weakness that He is strong. He gets all the glory when imperfect people do amazing things. When we think we have it all together, we are at our weakest point.
Of course, that’s my sermon for today. Tomorrow I may just be a pile of doubts again. 😉
Prayer request:
Thank you in advance. I’m so grateful for this community of prayer warriors.
Please keep my family in prayer – so much going on:
My dad is in ICU. He had emergency surgery last night to repair a ruptured fistula in his arm – the arm used for dialysis. This is one of many serious issues he’s facing, including cancer. In addition to his physical issues, please pray he’ll know God’s presence and peace.
My son has been running a fever for the past 3 days, a week after his return from Uganda. I don’t even want to think of the possibilities.
I’m supposed to attend a 4 day writers’ conference starting Wednesday followed by a family vacation. A lot to prepare for both, assuming I can even do either one now.
And I will be sharing this Sunday’s message in church since my son is unable to do so. He was to share a message from his mission trip. So I’m preparing for that now. I’ll share from a chapter in my WIP book.
In a parking lot near my office, I spotted the cutest family parade: four little goslings marching single file, Mother and Father Goose in front and rear, on their way to a nearby stream.
Unfortunately, one little fella wound up on the wrong side of the fence. Hearing his family on the river side, he franticly scuttled along the barrier. A mere one foot high, for the little bird the fence might as well have been Alcatraz.
you can spot his little head all the way to the left
Nearby, Mother Goose hovered and honked loudly to Junior who desperately waddled back and forth along the divider. At one point, he tried with all his pathetic little might to fly over the divider. Jumping and flailing his weak downy wings, he failed to launch more than an inch off the ground. And then I saw it. Several feet away, the rugged wooden beam arched upward, just a few inches, but surely high enough for Junior to scurry under. Now how to steer him there without causing him a coronary?
I approached the drama with tiny steps in his direction, whispering words of encouragement. Mother Goose shrieked and wildly spread her wings, and I trembled, most grateful for my sunglasses protection should she attack. Then inexplicably her demeanor changed. Innately, I think she realized I was not a threat. She eyed me, but stayed silent and motionless until Junior finally found his way under the fence, and the reunited family sailed away.
Seems like a perfect belated Mother’s Day story.
Here was a mother striving in her own strength to guide her little prodigal in the way he should go, only to release control to one with greater vision. May we, like she, guide our brood, protect them as we are able, but ultimately trust their care to the One with greater vision. May we realize that He came to show us the way, speaking and guiding us gently with His still, small voice.
Happy Belated Mother’s Day!
seen last week at my Hallmark store:
Here’s to good women-
– May we Know them
– May we Be them
– May we Raise them
Psalm 138 (Amp) I will confess and praise You [O God] with my whole heart; … In the day when I called, You answered me; and You strengthened me with strength in my inner self. … they shall sing of the ways of the Lord and joyfully celebrate His mighty acts, for great is the glory of the Lord. … For though the Lord is high, yet has He respect to the lowly [bringing them into fellowship with Him]; … Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me…
There they sit, like giant beached whales. Mounds of snow, at the edges of fences, by the sides of highways, in corners of parking lots. For the entire winter, our lawns were cloaked in white. The recent rain, wind and warmer weather washed away much of the snow; yet there still remain piles of graying white.
Each of those snowflakes that fell en masse last December were so delicate, it’s amazing that they are still present in March. What can we learn from these fragile flakes that have such staying power?
1. They stick together. Despite the fact that one person can make a difference – which I absolutely believe – it is also true that there is power in numbers. . We simply were not made to go it alone. God made us to be part of a body, His body. He made us for fellowship. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another. Heb 10:25 . God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness…” Gen 1:26 He is one God, but He is a plural God (like one family or one class or one snowstorm are singular, yet plural.) He is in fellowship with Himself. We are made in His image, and therefore, we need to be in the fellowship of believers. We are made that way for a reason. We are stronger together than we are alone. . Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Eccl. 4:12 . 2. They were pushed out of their comfort zone. Oh, it’s so much easier to stay within our comfort zone, isn’t it? But those flakes that remained so comfortable out on the open lawn were the first ones to melt away. It was the plowed flakes, the ones that got pushed and shoved around that remained. If the snowflakes could speak, they would say that it sure didn’t feel good at the time. To the snowflake, the plow seemed brutal, a real bully. But it was precisely because it yielded to the plow that it survived. . When we don’t understand our circumstances or we have to change our status quo, we have to recognize that there is Someone greater than ourselves in control, Someone who has our best interests at heart.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11 . Recently, a friend shared this excellent quote with me: “Comfort is the breeding ground for mediocrity. Hardship makes you find your greatness.”
If you’ve been trying to go it alone or if you’ve been facing a difficult struggle, hang in there. Remember the frail snowflake that first arrived in December and is still hanging around in March; and recognize that you are on the road to greatness!
ps – the winner of our giveaway book The Hole In Our Gospel is Marja Meijers. Congratulations Marja, and thank you so much for your encouraging comments and for sharing Eternity Cafe.
