Author: Susan Panzica

The Aftermath

Posted on by Susan Panzica
Tiffs Restaurant – where we had Easter dinner this year
Hess Station on Rt 23 where I regularly get gas

A&P, TJ Maxx, Home Goods, Moe’s – great little shopping plaza





For days, the media hype streamed its warnings. But in less than 24 hours, Hurricane Irene blew in and blew out, leaving floods, power outages, downed trees, and overall destruction in her wake. 


It is a week later. The skies are sunny and much of the water has receded, but the major clean-up is just beginning. Mud covers the parking lots. Mold grows in basements. Houses and their contents are ruined. 


Though the powerful storm was short-lived, its aftermath will continue for years. 


And what about the aftermath of our actions? 
Sometimes, one mis-spoken word alters relationships. 
An indiscretion creates havoc.
A foolish prank triggers repercussions. 
A quick decision brings consequences.
The choices we make today will reap an aftermath tomorrow.


There is a natural law that Paul sums up in Galatians 6:7-10 –
“Don’t be misled – you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature.”


Of course the opposite is also true:
“But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.” 


Hillsong United named their latest album Aftermath because “instead of living in the aftermath of our mistakes and sin, we can live in the aftermath of what Jesus has done for us.” 


After natural or man-made disasters, there are the expected devastating consequences. 


After the cross, there was and is the unexpected consequence – what appeared to be total destruction and loss one tragic Friday 2000 years ago was complete victory the following Sunday. A victory that is ours today.



“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At the right time, we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone – especially to those in the family of faith.” 

.

Sharing the Power

Posted on by Susan Panzica

Last night, we attended a wedding – amazing, beautiful, and a bit fearful with Hurricane Irene barreling down upon us. During the evening, Tony texted his cousin who lives a block away from the event: 

“How about us and 50 of our closest friends spending the night by you ;D LOL” 
To which cousin Dean graciously replied, “NO problem. Come on over.” 
Well, we and our friends braved it home in the downpour, arriving safe and sound. The next morning, checking facebook, I saw Dean’s post: 


“Anyone have a generator I can use? Powers been out since 3AM. Basement is a pond, I saw a Carp down there… NJ has been sold out of generators for a week.”

He had no power and a flooded basement. We had plenty of power, a dry basement, AND a working generator. So Dean came over to our place and borrowed the generator to pump out his basement. 

You might say – he shared our power. 

Kinda like how the Lord shares His power with us…
And how we can share His power with others.

 

The LORD said to Moses: “… I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone.” Numbers 11:17

When the Israelites’ grumbling caused Moses to cry out to God, “I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me” (v. 14), God ordered Moses to convene 70 of Israel’s elders to share Moses’ burden, and to share the power of the Spirit. 

God shares His power of the Spirit with us. And when our burden is too heavy for us, He spreads the power around so that we don’t have to carry the burden alone. When we let our need be known, God provides trusted friends with power to help bear that burden with us. God’s power is perfected in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). And when someone we know is carrying a heavy burden, we receive power to help them bear their load. 

In taking some of the power and putting it on others, we don’t lose power any more than a candle loses its light when sharing its flame with another candle. The light just increases as it’s shared. Just like love. And just like the power of the Spirit. 

Later on, we heard from Dean that driving back from our place, he stopped at Home Depot for a plug — just as a shipment of generators arrived! Planning for the future, he bought one. Once home, Dean learned his neighbor needed a generator and so he shared ours with him. Way to share the power!! 




Taking It Back

Posted on by Susan Panzica

The prayer jar in our church is filling up! Each time that God answers a prayer, members of our church take a small glass stone out of the small bowl and put it in the tall jar. It’s a lovely visual reminder of God at work.                                        
Sometimes someone (myself included) will accidentally reverse the process and take a stone from the large jar and put it in the small bowl. Ooops!



Sometimes in life, we do the same thing. We give our situation to God and think we leave it in His able hands, but we tie an invisible tether to it. God answers a prayer, provides a victory, frees us from a worry. Then we tug on that tether and bring that sin back into our lives or that worry back into our hearts. 


This reminds me of a quote from Corrie ten Boom and a poem I read on a bookmark:


The quote: 
“When God buries your sins in the deepest sea, He posts a sign that says ‘No fishing allowed.'” 


The bookmark: 
Broken Dreams
As children bring their broken toys 
with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God 
because He was my Friend.
But then instead of leaving Him
in peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that that were my own.
At last I snatched them back and cried,
“How can You be so slow?”
“My child,” He said,
“What could I do? You never did let go.”

Whether it is sin given over to God or dream in need of repair, when we give it to God, we need to GIVE it to God and LEAVE it with Him, trusting Him because He is trustworthy. Forgive me the cliche, but it’s just so true: Let go, and let God. 








ps – Thank you for your prayers! Still waiting for final test results, but AJ’s back to his old self. And my dad’s out of ICU. He still has a long road ahead so please continue to pray. Thank you so much. 

The Doubt Monster

Posted on by Susan Panzica


Everywhere I turn, it seems to be the topic of the day. Doubt. I was drowning in the “I don’t have what it takes…” Bloggers like Chatty Kelly and Jody Hedlund are addressing it today. Renee Swope’s new book “A Confident Heart” released this week. I haven’t read it yet, but it’s high on my list.
Doubt is the enemy’s tool. It affects everyone. And it can affect any area of our lives. Are we a good enough mom, wife, friend, writer, speaker, worker, fill in the blank. It has us focus on whatever will take our eyes off God – our weaknesses, other’s strengths.
After Adam and Eve sinned and hid in fear, God’s first question to them was “Who told you….?” He hadn’t told them to be fearful, ashamed. They were listening to the voice of their enemy.
All that God asks of us is to be obedient. To seek, to love, to serve Him and His people. When our eyes are squarely on Him, our doubts fade in His light.
Years ago, I had a strange experience. I was to speak before a crowd of fellow employees at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center. Every cell in my body trembled in fear. I had asked for prayer from trusted friends, telling them my session would begin Wednesday at 8:00 am. It was Wednesday at 7:55, and as I drifted to the podium, I wondered how I’d be able to utter a single word, so filled with fear and doubt was I.
Then something weird occurred. Really weird. It all happened in a nanosecond. I felt a tingling on the top of my head, like when someone pretends to crack an egg on your head. The tingle moved down from my head past my shoulders, past my arms and torso, down my legs, and out my feet. Picture a thermometer with a pinhole in the bulb and the red liquid leaking out the bottom. The tingle was fear, and so tangible was this feeling that as it left my body, I looked down because I thought I’d see a puddle of fear on the floor. All I saw were black and white tiles. As my eyes swept back up, they glimpsed the wall clock – which read exactly 8:00 sharp. In that instant, I simultaneously remembered 3 things – my praying friends, my mentioning 8:00 am, and the Scripture verse that says, “Perfect love casts out fear.” God is perfect love, and He supernaturally removed my fear.
I’d like to say that ever since that time, I have never experienced fear. But that would be a lie. What I do know is this – He CAN supernaturally remove my fear – if He wants to. So if He doesn’t, it means that the fear is there for a reason – most likely, so that I keep tethered to Him, focused on Him, in communion with Him, dependent upon Him rather than myself.
All the self-doubt that’s so prevalent and so destructive is just a tool in Satan’s arsenal, seeking to hinder the work of God. If only we can just remember that yeah we do have weaknesses, but it’s in our weakness that He is strong. He gets all the glory when imperfect people do amazing things. When we think we have it all together, we are at our weakest point.
Of course, that’s my sermon for today. Tomorrow I may just be a pile of doubts again. 😉
Prayer request:
Thank you in advance. I’m so grateful for this community of prayer warriors.
Please keep my family in prayer – so much going on:
My dad is in ICU. He had emergency surgery last night to repair a ruptured fistula in his arm – the arm used for dialysis. This is one of many serious issues he’s facing, including cancer. In addition to his physical issues, please pray he’ll know God’s presence and peace. 
My son has been running a fever for the past 3 days, a week after his return from Uganda. I don’t even want to think of the possibilities.
I’m supposed to attend a 4 day writers’ conference starting Wednesday followed by a family vacation. A lot to prepare for both, assuming I can even do either one now.
And I will be sharing this Sunday’s message in church since my son is unable to do so. He was to share a message from his mission trip. So I’m preparing for that now. I’ll share from a chapter in my WIP book.
Can I just say “Oy vey!” 




Here’s The Latest!

Posted on by Susan Panzica


Here I go asking for you to keep me accountable and then no update for almost a month! Please accept my humblest apologies, but what a month it’s been! Crazy busy, but all good!  


Right after my last post, I served 5 days at the Touch The World training camp, teaching child evangelism and kids Bible stories to youth going on mission trips to Haiti, Costa Rica, Honduras, and Uganda. It was exhausting. And exhilarating. [btw- my son just got back from Uganda. He’ll be sharing with you in the near future.] 
I spent the following week preparing the message for our church’s Sunday morning sermon. I was week #2 in a four part series on John 11. We four each shared a different aspect of the raising of Lazarus story. My assignment – Mary and Martha. Click here to listen to the message for a different perspective on these two well-known women of the Word. Hint: “Martharization”  [click on download, not streaming]
The following week took me on a trip to Phoenix to visit my mom’s sister who has terminal pulmonary fibrosis. It was the living definition of “bittersweet.” My aunt has survived 2 years beyond expectations, but it is not without increasing difficulty. Despite that, my mom, sister, and I had a wonderful time with our extended family. Hours were spent reminiscing, laughing, eating, driving, eating, swimming, eating. Did I say we did a lot of eating? Please keep my aunt and her family in prayer during this difficult time. Thanks.
As for writing, I’m working on refining my book proposal which I hope to share with an interested editor or agent at the Philadelphia writers’ conference in August. Looking forward to connecting there with blogging friends Jeanette Levellie and Susan Reinhardt. If you’re a blogger, maybe you and I will connect face to face one day! If you’ll be at the conference, please be sure to let me know.
Well that’s the latest news. I will tell you – after the writers conference and a [long overdue] family vacation, be on the lookout for the promised “i am” series featuring a wonderful cast of characters!
Still need that accountability though. It’s so-o-o-o-o easy to get distracted. 

Hope you’re all having a fantastic summer! What’s new with you? 

And if you listened to the message – has your view of Mary and Martha changed? If so, in what way? 

Truth or Dare… You don’t have what it takes….

Posted on by Susan Panzica


The blank screen and empty pages stare at me, daring me, accusing me with the truth: 

“You don’t have what it takes.” 
     “I know I don’t.” 
“So why do you bother?”
     “I don’t know.”
“Who are you trying to kid?”
     Pause. “Myself, I guess.” 
Just a few years ago, it was open doors and easy sailing. But now, it’s uncertainty, fear, attraction to distraction. 
     “What was I thinking?” 
     “Who do I think I am?”
     “Why did I go down this road?”
     “I could stop any time.”
     “Who would care?”
“I WOULD.”
     “Who are You?”
“YOU KNOW WHO I AM.”
     “Are You who I think You are? I’m not hearing You very well.”
“YOU HAVEN’T BEEN LISTENING. I’VE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG.”
     “I’m sorry.”
“I KNOW THAT TOO.”
I’ve been in a sort-of self-imposed exile, and am now just emerging to see the light of day. It’s been a difficult 2 months with the “I don’t have what it takes” foolishness prevailing.
It started so silently. I wasn’t even aware it was happening. One day I sat down to write and there was nothing. Nothing in my head, nothing on the page, nothing in my heart. “I’ll try again tomorrow.” One day turned into two, which turned into four, and on it went. An abyss of nothingness. I was stuck in a subtle, slow, slippery, downward spiral. Finding all sorts of good things to do, but avoiding the best things to do. Even if you’re not a writer, chances are you’ve been stuck in some area of your life. Procrastinating, avoiding, distracting yourself. 
Have you heard the saying, “God loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to leave you that way.” I’m so thankful. He started nudging me the way I nudge my dog when I want her release something she’s fixed on.
My pastor shared an inspiring message on his 50th birthday about people who sailed the world at 51, swam the English Channelat 60, fostered needy teenagers at 84. I’d been thinking I was too old to start down this new road. How did Pastor Steve know? But then, of course, those people had what it takes. I don’t. Pity party. All invited.
Then a little booklet about Simon Peter arrived unannounced in the mail. I randomly opened to a page with this sidebar: “We need to continually make choices about whether we will allow distractions to seduce us and draw us away from what is most important.” The booklet described some of the distractions as fear, despair, disappointment, and stress. I can add a million other distractions to that list. It went on – “In the face of such challenges, we need to be people of purpose – people who look beyond the distractions that surround us, so that we can run the race of life… Peter’s brief encounter with water-walking was scuttled for a very human and understandable reason. He failed to focus on the Savior because he was distracted by his circumstance. His desperate, sinking cry for help, therefore, becomes a useful warning to us.”
I finally opened up to a few dear well-meaning loving friends who I adore (you know who you are) who gave me truthful advice – but all were excuses to me:
– “You’re so busy.” Yes I am, but so are others who are accomplishing what God wants them to do.
– “Lots of people go through what you’re going through.” I know, but how did they get out of it?
– “You do have what it takes.” I’m still not sure, but so what if I do – if I’m burying it????
But, but, but, but….
And then my friend Susan M. gave me a devotional book that she said made her think of me. It said in part – “Regardless of when or why you stumbled, God wants to pick you up and put you back on your feet. People who never experienced failure usually don’t accomplish much. There’s a certain security in playing it safe. Nothing’s lost, but nothing’s won. They never get out of the boat and walk on the water. Wouldn’t it be better to almost drown and have to be saved, than never to experience God’s power working through you?”
Chip, chip, chip, chip….
God was chipping away at my disobedience. When my kids were small, I’d often tell them, “Delayed obedience is dis-obedience.” And here I was, Miss Disobedience! Wanting to deal with my procrastination, I just kept putting it off! Until tonight. I believe it was Mark Twain who said, ““I write whenever the muse strikes. I just make sure it strikes every night at 9.” 

The truth – I really don’t have what it takes. And sorry, neither do you. But He does! And He’ll do it through us as we yield to Him. “…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil 1:6


If you’re reading this, it’s because you signed up to follow my blog, subscribed to the blog, or are a facebook friend. So dear friend, would you hold me accountable? I have 17 posts in my draft folder waiting to be finished. I will share more about them tomorrow, but for now – let’s keep each other accountable. How can I pray for you? And will you pray for me? 



Just Too Busy

Posted on by Susan Panzica
Just Too Busy is for anyone who is… well, just too busy! And since I don’t know anyone who isn’t too busy, I guess this book is for you, especially if you are the chief cook, chauffer, maid, nurse, sideline coach, and/or tutor in your household.



For me, this book is more than just a good read. It is the culmination of a dream of a dear friend. Joanne Kraft and I met at my first writers’ conference. We shared a lunch, a prayer, and the beginning of a cherished friendship. At that conference, a master discourager tried to convince Joanne to abandon writing her book, devastating news for any writer. After buckets of tears, hugs, prayers, and a phone call home, wise words from her husband Paul [“Remember Who told you to write this book…”] brought clarity and peace to both of us.



In her ‘day’ job, Joanne is a 911 operator, and she has saved me from disaster on more than one occasion. We may live a continent apart, but when we talk, it’s as if we’re sitting across the table from each other.
And when you read her book, it’s as if she’s sitting across the table from you, sharing her personal experience of her family’s victory over busyness. Joanne speaks and writes with sidesplitting humor. She’ll make you laugh, and make you cry, but mostly laugh.
Here’s the official blurb about her book:
  • Just Too Busy is the true story of the Kraft family’s head-on collision with busyness and the twelve-month experiment that changed their lives. When their children could recite the dollar value meals at McDonalds faster than their times-tables, they knew something was very wrong. So, instead of continuing their bad habits and fitting more into their schedules, they took a year off from all activities and learned how to be a family again. 
  • In this book, readers will laugh their way to learning the ten tell-tale signs that they are too busy and discover the symptoms for a common disorder known to moms today: A.D.D. (Activity Denial Disorder). Families will find simple ways to guard themselves from the temptation of constant distraction.

Even though my children are young adults now, I found myself relating to the busyness that Joanne describes. Overcommitment is something that I regularly have to guard against. In the first chapter, Joanne says, “even the good things in life can become the enemy of the best things in life.”
To combat what she calls the “captivity of activity,” Joanne and her family took a year-long “radical sabbatical.” They stopped almost all extracurricular activity and learned what it means to spend time together as a family. Just Too Busy takes us through their experiences, high and low, and provides insight and advice to anyone looking to simplify life. You don’t need to go on a radical sabbatical yourself to enjoy and apply the principles in this book.
Because I know you’ll love it, I’m giving away a copy of Just Too Busy! To enter the drawing, share a comment with me – either here on the blog, on facebook, or in an email reply. Let me know why you’d like to read it or share your funniest busy story.
  

.

Separation Anxiety

Posted on by Susan Panzica
In a parking lot near my office, I spotted the cutest family parade: four little goslings marching single file, Mother and Father Goose in front and rear, on their way to a nearby stream. 






Unfortunately, one little fella wound up on the wrong side of the fence. Hearing his family on the river side, he franticly scuttled along the barrier. A mere one foot high, for the little bird the fence might as well have been Alcatraz. 



you can spot his little head all the way to the left



Nearby, Mother Goose hovered and honked loudly to Junior who desperately waddled back and forth along the divider. At one point, he tried with all his pathetic little might to fly over the divider. Jumping and flailing his weak downy wings, he failed to launch more than an inch off the ground. And then I saw it. Several feet away, the rugged wooden beam arched upward, just a few inches, but surely high enough for Junior to scurry under. Now how to steer him there without causing him a coronary? 






I approached the drama with tiny steps in his direction, whispering words of encouragement. Mother Goose shrieked and wildly spread her wings, and I trembled, most grateful for my sunglasses protection should she attack. Then inexplicably her demeanor changed. Innately, I think she realized I was not a threat. She eyed me, but stayed silent and motionless until Junior finally found his way under the fence, and the reunited family sailed away.

 





Seems like a perfect belated Mother’s Day story.

Here was a mother striving in her own strength to guide her little prodigal in the way he should go, only to release control to one with greater vision. May we, like she, guide our brood, protect them as we are able, but ultimately trust their care to the One with greater vision. May we realize that He came to show us the way, speaking and guiding us gently with His still, small voice. 

Happy Belated Mother’s Day! 
seen last week at my Hallmark store:
Here’s to good women-

– May we Know them
– May we Be them
– May we Raise them




Psalm 138 (Amp)
I will confess and praise You [O God] with my whole heart;
…
In the day when I called, You answered me; and You strengthened me with strength in my inner self.
…
they shall sing of the ways of the Lord and joyfully celebrate His mighty acts, for great is the glory of the Lord.
…
For though the Lord is high, yet has He respect to the lowly [bringing them into fellowship with Him]; 
…
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me…


Finishing Well

Posted on by Susan Panzica
Many thanks to all for your prayers and good wishes for AJ. He finished well!  He experienced some knee and hamstring issues about 3/4 through, but pressed on. 


He finished in 3:22:19.62 (8 minutes ahead of his goal time) qualifying him for the Boston Marathon. He placed #114 out of 1856 runners and in the top ten of runners age 20 -24 (he’s 20). 


Here’s some pics (thanks to Lauren, Anita, and Phi Sigma Kappa):


bright and early – start of a great day




before the race – mental prep




crossing the mile 4 & 8 bridge
“AJ’s running a marathon, yet still takes great pictures” Dave M.




“gonna fly now” (Eye of the Tiger – Rocky theme)



greeting his Phi Sig brothers at mile 11




approaching mile 23 hydration station (leading the 2nd pack)




mile 23 – recharged!! 




heading home!
“cue Chariots of Fire music here” Lauren




roommate James running the last mile with him




FINISH LINE!!! 




“Run in such a way as to get the prize
…to get a crown that will last forever.”
1 Cor. 9:24-25



I’m so proud of this boy. He sure isn’t perfect that I know. I don’t want to be  one of those blind “can you top this” moms. But he accomplished what few do. 
And it wasn’t just completing the marathon. 

He had over 30 supporters there – family, school friends, church friends. These wonderful people to whom I am most grateful sacrificed time and money to be there at the crack of dawn and lend their support to this zany kid (“he’s the happiest runner” Dave M). I know others wanted to be there, but supported him in other ways. Why? One of his fraternity brothers summed it up in a text “AJ’s always there for us. Let’s be there for him.”  

We reap what we sow (Gal. 6:8). Sunday’s victory was not gained on that day. It was the months of preparation that allowed him to go the distance. And the support that he received was because of his daily investment in the lives of others, over months and years of relationship.

“whoever sows generously will also reap generously.” 2 Cor. 9:6


http://www.razoo.com/story/Ajpanzica

Who Would Have Thought???

Posted on by Susan Panzica
When he was just a kindergartener, he was the smartest player on the soccer field. As all the little players swarmed the ball like bees around a hive, AJ waited patiently outside the crush for the ball to emerge, then singlehandedly (or singlefootedly?) ran the ball down the field to the goal. The coaches and parents marveled, “He’s going to be a great soccer player!” 
Until he quit. 
“I don’t like soccer. You have to run all the way down the field, then run all the way back again.” From then on, baseball was his true love, playing year round. 



In eighth grade, his homeroom teacher, Mr. Allen, was also the cross-country coach. When AJ told us he was going to run cross country, my husband and I fell over laughing, literally. But when he started finishing in first place, we stopped laughing. Turns out that it was “useless” running that AJ didn’t like. All that down the field and back again with no scoring was boring. But running through the countryside or down streets toward a finish line – in increasingly faster time – was an achievement. 



His high school coach, Mr. Apol, a model of what coaches should be, challenged and encouraged each student to better themselves according to their own ability. Cross country taught me so much about running the race of life, my early blogposts were peppered with XC stories. (Stay tuned for more on this next week!)



Now AJ, college student, is running the NJ Marathon! On Sunday May 1st, he will run 26 miles through several NJ shore towns. Once again, family and friends will be there cheering along the sidelines and at the finish line. 


This time, he’s raising money for a summer mission trip to Uganda. 


Now for the mom-pitch! Would you consider supporting AJ in this endeavor? 
First, please keep him in prayer:
– that he would run well and finish well 
– with no injury! (He’s been having some knee trouble during training.)
– that the weather would be favorable.


And second, if you feel so led, financial donations toward his mission trip go to Touch The World and can be made at: 

Donations can be made in any amount large or small, flat or per mile.


He, and we, thank you in advance for your prayer and/or financial support. 


Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith… Consider Him …, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Heb. 12:1, 3


ps – couldn’t resist adding this poem that AJ wrote and posted on facebook this morning:



‎’Twas the night before race day
and everyone knew
That twenty-six mile was
a whole lot to do.
My bones are all aching
my muscles all sore
Nervous cause no Panzica
has tried this before.
But I have a secret that
I want all to see
And that is my God
that lives inside me.
Cause when I cannot do it
and am falling apart
He holds me together
From my feet to my heart.