Category: parenting

Popularity – American Idol Style

Posted on by Susan Panzica

Check out the kid in the “parachute pant” – the so-called “white MC Hammer” – dancing with his sister in this clip from Fox 
News: 
And they got a huge write up in the Bergen Record: 




This adorable duo are my two kids. For his 21st birthday on Thursday, AJ decided on a whim to try out for Americal Idol. The blockbuster show added a last minute audition city at the Meadowlands, just a short ride from our home. They were shooting for the humor angle. AJ facebooked:

  • Heading out for my American Idol audition with Lauren. Remember, infamy wields a much greater spotlight than fame. [take American heart-throb William Hung for example..]

Since they’re great friends as well as siblings, Lauren went along for the ride. They entertained the waiting crowds with their Party Rock Anthem dance shuffle moves. And captured LOTS of attention. “EVERYONE wanted to talk and interview us!!” And it was true – E!, Fox News, Bergen Record, NJ News 12, MTV News, Inside Edition, American Idol reps, and 102.7 FM radio all wanted a few minutes of their attention. It was all lots of fun for two charismatic kids with slightly better than average singing skills. 

And they got the golden ticket! Not to Hollywood yet, but to come back 2 days later for Rounds 2 and 3.
And my mommy radar went into overdrive. 
Sure it was great fun. But what about the bigger picture:
– What about their plans? College and beyond.
More importantly:
– What about their character? The pull of celebrity? The innate insatiable desire to be popular? . 



.

“Popular” from the Broadway show “Wicked’ 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsKH2tqoFJ8

On Friday, Rick Warren tweeted the following:
“Believe me: popularity is an insidious force that will destroy your character unless you deal ruthlessly with it before God.“
I immediately texted that to my kids. Thanks Pastor Rick! 
Oh, what is it about celebrity that is so attractive? Is it wanting people to like us? Wanting to be popular? If so, then American Idol is the right name for that show, and for the culture that adores it. An idol is “1. an image or representation of a god used as on object of worship.  2. someone who is adored blindly and excessively.” In other words, an idol is anything that replaces God in our worship. When we want to be liked by people more than we care about what God thinks of us, we are in idol worship. And we must deal with it ruthlessly. 
I admit I want people to like me. I don’t like it if I think they don’t or if I feel left out. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to connect with others. The problem is when the desire to be liked causes us to compromise, or causes us to neglect  our relationship with God in some way. 
When Jesus walked the earth, some people liked Him and some didn’t. And if not everyone liked Him, why would we expect everyone to like us? Jesus said just the opposite would be true.
“Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” Mk 13:13
“Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude and insult you and reject your name, because of the Son of Man.” Lk 6:22
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies and do good to those who hate you.” Lk 6:27
“Everyone will hate you because of Me.” Lk 21:17
Jesus loved everyone no matter how they felt about Him. He empowers us to do the same. 
So what happened with the kids on Saturday? Well, they got a second golden ticket which took them to Round 3 and another audition, this time before the Executive Producers. That didn’t go as well. They were told that their song was not an allowed song (copyright issues we’re guessing) so they had a just few minutes to prepare another song. And in the end, they were told to strengthen their vocals and maybe audition for So You Think You Can Dance. 
Not really a surprise. Going in, AJ’s ultimate hope was just to meet Steven Tyler. They got a lot farther than they expected. Must have been their winning personalities. 
Then again, maybe it was just the pants. 


Happy Mother’s Day – to my kids!

Posted on by Susan Panzica

Perennially, Mother’s Day was a difficult day for me. Having a mother and a stepmother takes juggling to new levels. But unlike the circus, no one is ever happy. So, to be honest, Mother’s Day was never a day I looked forward to.

Until I became a mom.

The best thing for me now about Mother’s Day is the reminder of the love the Father has for us, His children. Even as a Christian, I don’t think I understood what it meant to be a child of God until I had children of my own.

So, thanks kids, for teaching what it means to be a child of our Father.

As I new mom, I couldn’t believe how much love my heart could contain. When I was pregnant with my second child, I was worried that I would not be able to love that child as much as I loved my first. How could so much love be possible? But, if you have more than one child, you know, as I found out, that it is more than possible. Exceedingly more. When one candle lights another, it does not lose any of its light. Only more light is created. And so, my second-born only increased my capacity to love.

When my children were small, they were so dependent upon me. As they grew and matured, slowly they gained independence. When my children and I would go out anywhere, my daughter always stuck close by, but my son loved to wander, and so for his own safety, I used a harness for him so he was free to explore, yet he could stray no further than the end of the leash. Now both are free to travel, but they are always tethered by an invisible bond of love.

Whether my children behave or not, my love for them does not diminish, just as God’s love never changes regardless of my behavior (1 John 4:9-10).

I must discipline them when necessary to be a good parent, just as God disciplines us (Hebrews 12:7-11).

We have security as a child of God. He will not leave us as orphans (John 14:18).

As a child of God, I have learned that there is a difference between being childlike (which we should be – Matt. 18:3) and being childish (which we ought not to be – 1 Cor. 13:11). We must develop in our relationship with the Lord as a baby matures and grows. We progress from feeding on the “milk of the Word” to meatier things (1 Peter 2:2). It’s a process. But His love for us never changes during the process.

So, Abba – Daddy, keep me close.

And kids, thanks for making every day a Happy Mother’s Day for me!

Back to Reality!

Posted on by Susan Panzica

On the way home from the retreat, I received a call from my son,
“When are you coming home?”
A half hour later, I received a call from my other blessing,
“When are you coming home? . . . Hello?? Aren’t you in the same house??
How do you get out a pollen stain?” Back to reality!
“By the way, I’m making dinner tonight, so you don’t have to after your long weekend.”
Ooooh, maybe it’s a new reality!!
Once home, I ask my son to tear himself away from the TV to fetch my other bags.
“Sure, Mom.”
5 minutes later, I ask my son to tear himself away from the TV to fetch my other bags.
“In a minute.”
10 minutes later, I ask my son to tear himself away from the TV to fetch my other bags.
“I will.”
15 minutes later, I grab the remote with fire in my eyes and ask my son to tear himself away from the TV to fetch my other bags.
“Why can’t Lauren do it? I’m so-o-o-o tired.” Maybe not a new reality!

Okay, in his defense, his school play was this weekend, and there was lots going on, and he was exhausted. He did get the bags, and he’s now napping on the couch.
And Lauren is in the kitchen cutting up chicken for our dinner listening to Christian radio. Oh, joy!
And Tony surprised me while I was away by putting up the new curtain rod in the living room.
Aaaaah! Back to reality, new or not, it’s good to be home.

***********
ps-
I have so much to share with you about the wonderful weekend I had with the terrific ladies from the PVCA retreat. In the days to come, I will share some humorous, inspirational and poignant stories and photos. Stay tuned!!

Susan

The Lanyard

Posted on by Susan Panzica

Yesterday, I went to see my son perform in his high school play, “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown.” He plays Charlie Brown, a character so unlike AJ it’s amazing that he pulled it off. AJ is unceasingly happy. Charlie Brown is chronically depressed. As I watched my son play his character, I saw him experience repeated calamities and catastrophes. He was teased by other characters. He failed at most everything he tried. As his mom, I felt myself getting so emotional at his distress that tears pricked my eyes. It was really his comical character’s distress, but all I could see was my son, and I felt so sad for him, this cartoon character! Sometimes, being a mom is tough stuff!

Then last night, I opened an email from my dear friend Kim. She shared with me this beautiful poem that was read by her niece at the memorial service for her beloved sister-in-law, Marigrace.

If you are a mom or if you have a mom, you will relate:

“The Lanyard”
By Billy Collins

The other day as I was ricocheting slowly
off the pale blue walls of this room,
bouncing from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one more suddenly into the past —
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sickroom,
lifted teaspoons of medicine to my lips,
set cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light

and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift–not the archaic truth

that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hands,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

Happy Mother’s Day today and everyday to all you wonderful moms out there!

Susan

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking

Posted on by Susan Panzica

I received this as an email – so worth sharing!!
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don’t.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn’t feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I learned most of life’s lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked at you and wanted to say ‘Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.’

You may do much for others, yet think that no one ever sees. Each of us (parent, grandparent, spouse, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend) influences the life of a child. How will you touch the life of someone today?
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

Holding Hands with God

Posted on by Susan Panzica

Thanks for visiting Eternity Cafe today. Well, friends, I’m finally in the 21st century, and here’s my first post!! It is my desire that this blog will serve to shine God’s light in your life and mine. I just love to share ideas, stories, illustrations, photos, even recipes as they come to me, either through my crazy brain or by way of email, devotions, sermons, conversation, etc. I hope that you will join me adding your insights by posting your comments.

For my first post, I chose a story that is near and dear to my heart. Years ago, when my 20 year old daughter was just four, we were standing side by side in church singing during the worship service. (By the way, she now stands beside her dad as she plays bass guitar leading the worship with him! How time flies!) But at that time, my observant little girl asked me a question. She said, “Why do people raise their hands when they worship?” I was just about to share my great wisdom with her, providing some brilliant answer when I felt what seemed to be the Lord just shutting my mouth. So I asked her, “Why do you think that people raise their hands when they worship?” To which she replied, “I think that they are holding hands with God.”

From that moment on, I always asked her (and my son) what they thought before I provided my answer!

Her answer revealed so much insight into what our relationship with God ought to be. It was the prophet Micah who said, “He has showed you, O man (or woman), what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” You might say “… to walk holding hands with God.”

Now just imagine that you are a child holding the hand of your Father. His hand covers yours, and you feel His protection. He is so much bigger than you are. He is gripping you tightly because He doesn’t want to lose you. He doesn’t want any harm to come to you. He wants to protect you, even though sometimes He allows you to reap consequences, because that too, is for your good.

Imagine as you hold His hand where His eyes are. He can see across the street. He can see what lies ahead. He can see where the dangers are, and He can shield you from them. Imagine His vision and realize how limited your vision is. And remember, when a child holds her daddy’s hand, it is gripped and supported – He is doing the holding! It is not nearly as difficult as when you try to keep your hand raised on your own.

Imagine how much the owner of that Hand loves you. How He cares for your every need, even those that you don’t realize you have. How His grip is a confirmation of how you are tenderly loved with a strength beyond your own understanding. Realize that if a great danger were heading your way, how He would push you out of the way, and sacrifice Himself that you might live.

This is what it is to be a child of God.

See you next time!!

Susan