July 2017 - Susan Panzica

Thirty years ago today, we said “I do.” We made a committment to love, honor, and cherish; to stand by each other for better or worse, richer or poorer, through sickness and health, good times and bad. Until death do us part.

I was a bride for one day, but as a Christian, I am part of the Bride of Christ every day . What does it mean to be the Bride of Christ? And how can we live each of our days in that identity?

What the Bride looks like:

When you imagine the Bride of Christ, what do you picture? A damsel clothed in white lace? Yet, the first person to declare Jesus to be the bridegroom was none other than John the Baptist.

“The bride belongs to the bridegroom.” John 3:29

These words spoken by John the Baptist open our eyes to a bride more rugged, truth-preaching and fierce than the delicate, frilly, and feminine damsel that’s widely depicted as the Bride. The Bride is not for women only. Christian men and women equally are the Bride.

The Betrothal:

Being the bride is about living in the betrothal period of preparation for a wedding. There were so many things to take care of, my engagement was the only time in my life that I lost weight without trying. Although there is much work, it is a joyous labor when a bride remembers the love of and for the groom and the life they will enjoy together. Betrothal is a time of complete covenant commitment to each other and expectancy about the wedding and lifetime to come. As the Bride of Christ, do you live with such expectancy?

The Bridegroom:

The bridegroom is the bride’s protector, her security. In Bible times, the groom paid a dowry for his bride. Jesus paid more than a dowry, He paid a ransom for His bride because of His deep love for her. When I attend a wedding and the dum-dum-de-dum starts to play, all heads turn to the back to see the bride enter. But I always look to the front and watch the groom’s face when he sees his bride approach. His smile lights up the room. To think that Jesus will receive me with such a smile on His face fills me with joy overflowing. I love how Psalm 36:5-9 reads in the Message translation:

“God’s love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic, … How exquisite your love, O God! How eager we are to run under your wings, … ”

“Say ‘yes’ to the dress.”:

In a crowded reception, can you pick out the Bride? Always – because of her garment. According to Rev. 19:6-8, the bride is arrayed in fine white linen, symbolizing the pure, holy and the righteous deeds of the saints. Our garment is the outer evidence of our inner person, our decisions, actions, thoughts. And by the way, nowhere does the Bible actually describe the garment as a “dress.” It says the bride is “arrayed” or “clothed” in fine “linen which is the righteous acts of the saints.” Righteous acts include obedience to God’s commandments and continually striving to follow Jesus’ perfect example. So men can wear the garment too!

Our attitude:

There’s a tv show called “Bridezillas”. According to the dictionary:

Bridezilla: noun. Formed from blending of the words bride and Godzilla (Japanese movie monster). Used to describe a woman whose behavior becomes outrageously bad in the course of planning for her wedding; a bride-to-be who focuses so much on the event that she becomes difficult and obnoxious

We become “Bridezillas” when “it’s ALL about ME!” What do I want? Our prayers are about what WE think is best. We get disappointed or disillusioned if things don’t go our way. We need to remember we are betrothed, redeemed, preparing, and waiting with eager anticipation for our Groom. It’s not about us. It’s about Him.

So let’s live every day with a committment to love, honor, and cherish our Lord; to stand with Him for better or worse, richer or poorer, through sickness and health, good times and bad. Until death do us see each other face to face.

Last but not least – Happy Anniverary, honey!!! So thankful for the godly husband and father that you are, for the 30 wonderful years we’ve had together and the many more to come!!

All my life, I have always been the shyest person in the room. So when my mom convinced me to attend a 2 week sleep-away Girl Scout camp, it was a true miracle. Two girls from my troop went with me so that gave me a tiny bit of comfort, but when we arrived at the camp, I was assigned to be in a different campsite group. I now know that their campsite was right down the dirt path, but at the time, it seemed like a million miles away. I felt totally alone and completely miserable.

Our campsite had five tents with five girls in each. In my tent, there were two pairs of friends. And me.

As things went from bad to worse, in my loneliness, I was absolutely certain that no one liked me.

I cried myself to sleep every night and wrote letters every day detailing how much I hated it there, begging my parents to please take me home.

After a week of despair, my counselors allowed me to transfer to my friends’ campsite. It only took one minute there to realize I had made a big mistake. The disgusting smell that greeted me at the entrance was the first of several huge disappointments. In less than an hour, I asked to go back.

Never had I been so bold.

Fortunately, the powers-that-be let me return to my prior campsite and tent. My counselor sat me down for a long stern talk by the river.

Later, my 10 year old tent mate, one half of one of the pairs of little friends, assured me that she was happy I was back, and she said something that I remember to this day:

“How do you think it makes us feel when you say we don’t like you?”

Her words cut me to the core. In a good way. I hadn’t given their feelings any thought. I was too preoccupied with my own. I had made assumptions about these sweet pairs of friends that were completely untrue based on my own insecurities.

The second week at camp was completely different. I had such a good time, I cried buckets of tears when it was time to go home.

It’s been forty years, and how often since then have I made assumptions about people that turned out to be completely unfounded. I projected my own insecurities onto someone else, viewing their actions through my muddled lens.

I think we all remember Felix Unger’s famous lesson about assuming:

All kidding aside, false assumptions can create serious consequences, resulting in critically damaged relationships. In his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Pete Scazzaro says:

“Every time I make an assumption about someone who has hurt or disappointed me without confirming it, I believe a lie about this person in my head. This assumption is a misrepresentation of reality. Because I have not checked it out with the other person, it is very possible I am believing something untrue.”

As a believer in Christ, I want to live in truth. Holding onto assumptions creates storylines in my head that cause me to live in a false reality. Since God is Truth, by filling my head with false assumptions, I’m essentially not making room for Him in the limited space in my brain.

Of course, sometimes my assumptions are correct. But for the sake of healthy relationships, it’s necessary to check with the person about whom I’m assuming to verify the truth.

In Acts 17, the Bereans listened to Paul and Silas, and rather than assume their message was true or false, they did their “fact-checking.”

Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. Acts 17:11

How often do we make assumptions about others? About our circumstances? About ourselves? About God?

How much healthier would our relationships be if we took the time to fact-check and to clarify assumptions?

For more about assumptions and expectations, check out the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality materials at http://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/.

And/or a quick take on my previous blogposts:

http://susanpanzica.com/not-so-great-expectations/

http://susanpanzica.com/great-expectations-not/

Month: July 2017

On being THE bride

What happens when you assume?